Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wear drunk well.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
