How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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