you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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