You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
