Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
