i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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