i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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