Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no you cant smoke seaweed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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