i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
