Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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