never play flip cup with pint glasses
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
