I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
