Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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