if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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