barbara walters just said penis...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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