Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
