i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
