I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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