I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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