you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I smell stomach acid.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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