Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
worst night to have a conscience
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
