If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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