So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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