dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You ruined the universe
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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