Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My vagina just recognized that song.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
