im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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