What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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