she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
