If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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