Your tits are I can't wait for
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
