giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
