Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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