If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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