Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
