found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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