i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
