operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
