so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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