If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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