then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
