the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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