ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  I wish my penis had an off switch

  Fav 5 1036 1150

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?

  Fav 2 1299 788

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (925): View more from California

  just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

  Fav 61 4288 1490

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.

  Fav 23 929 4593

  share tweet
  
• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

  Fav 10 3794 1169

  share tweet
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.

  Fav 2 3505 1527

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

  Fav 17 1979 2635

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.

  Fav 10 2493 973

  share tweet
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.

  Fav 8 1211 2556

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered

  Fav 6 2962 1018

  share tweet
  

• (909): View more from California

  I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.

  Fav 4 1403 880

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (713): View more from Texas

  I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.

  Fav 2 1237 662

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...

  Fav 4 741 419

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.

  Fav 1 402 213

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (626): View more from California

  I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.

  Fav 2 57 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize