Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
