Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.