There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
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I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
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I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.