it wasn't lemon gatorade
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
