Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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