my being single is dangerous.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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