kristin has been a bad kristin
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
