ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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