I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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