you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
