she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
