im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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