was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
