it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
