Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?