Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
