i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
even my farts smell like vagina
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
