just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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