So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
