I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
