Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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