Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
