i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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