oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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