so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
