By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
