Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
