I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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