North Korea, Best Korea!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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