you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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