you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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