So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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